It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
