the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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