i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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