Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
