Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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