ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
