I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
