that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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