dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
