who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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