she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
