I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize