u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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