why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
