uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
