yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
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