Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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