Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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