sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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