i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
