if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
