yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Congratulations! We have a period
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
