So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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