When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
