yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
