not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
