so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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