u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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