im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
