In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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