So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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