Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
