I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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