All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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