Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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