i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
