Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.

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  (530): 1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details. http://tfl.nu/vtyc
  Replies (34) Good night (1940) Bad night (490)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

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  (615): Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours http://tfl.nu/h5ci
  Replies (10) Good night (3974) Bad night (885)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked

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  (516): Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked http://tfl.nu/j7ko
  Replies (3) Good night (3296) Bad night (813)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.

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  (970): Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass. http://tfl.nu/mex7
  Replies (12) Good night (9643) Bad night (851)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.

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  (203): he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/tskr
  Replies (44) Good night (8311) Bad night (1171)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.

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  (214): We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog. http://tfl.nu/53ei
  Replies (6) Good night (989) Bad night (2904)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win

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  (630): my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win http://tfl.nu/ctc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1203) Bad night (724)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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  (206): Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :) http://tfl.nu/j8zz
  Replies (20) Good night (3865) Bad night (671)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.

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  (307): puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done. http://tfl.nu/58vm
  Replies (3) Good night (2231) Bad night (614)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.

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  (732): Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help. http://tfl.nu/m3q1
  Replies (6) Good night (2050) Bad night (719)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.

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  (+44): I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks. http://tfl.nu/6xxg
  Replies (0) Good night (865) Bad night (406)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.

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  (740): No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock. http://tfl.nu/8vp6
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (494)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am not dying my bush blue.

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  (203): You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though. (860): I am not dying my bush blue. http://tfl.nu/alon
  Replies (10) Good night (845) Bad night (676)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So this bar tattoo not looking that great now

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  (850): So this bar tattoo not looking that great now http://tfl.nu/4o0g
  Replies (6) Good night (233) Bad night (612)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.

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  (810): Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/ppa3
  Replies (9) Good night (663) Bad night (441)

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