I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!