Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right

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(301): View more from Maryland

All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands

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(765): View more from Indiana

She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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(415): View more from California

Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(360): View more from Washington

Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.

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(310): View more from California

My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."

(323): View more from California

If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.

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(954): View more from Florida

I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.

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(415): View more from California

It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.

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