i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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