Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
