Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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