whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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