God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
