Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
