I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
