Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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