she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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