your room smells of hookers.
And success
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
