Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
