how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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