also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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