dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
