Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
