Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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