you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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