remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
