Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
