I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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