Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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