I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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