Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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