ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
