Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
