I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize