omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
wow bdsm is so cute
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