oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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