It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
