i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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