i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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