You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
