after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
