My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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